“Today I would like you to try something different. On the boat today we have appetizer – special appetizer. Do you know durian? We have a saying in Thailand, ‘durian tastes like heaven, but smells like hell.’
It’s not durian.
The appetizer today is fried grasshopper. We say, ‘Smells like fart, tastes like shit.’”
I wish more tours would start like this.
This is the Ayutthaya to Bangkok tour with Grand Pearl Cruise from GetYourGuide.com and from the outset, I know it’s going to be good. Even if I have seen most of the sights already while renting a bike in Ayutthaya a few months before, I just want to listen to what more this guy has to say.
Our court-jester/guide named First (because he was the first-born of course) does not disappoint.
“No appetizer,” he continues, “then no meal.”
Throughout the bus ride from Bangkok to Ayutthaya, First delivers first-rate commentary on what we are going to see, and peppers the conversation with humorous anecdotes like this:
“I had a cobra when I was a kid. I didn’t want to eat it, but my Dad said that cobra makes you handsome. Thanks to eating as much of it as I could get my hands on, you are blessed with this handsome man you see before you today.”
He’s a charmer to be sure.
Our first stop is the Bang Pa-In Royal Palace, also known as the Summer Palace (pictured above). We are the first tour group to arrive so pretty much have the place to ourselves for an hour. Although the main palace was destroyed by the Burmese in the 1700s during the fall of Ayutthaya, its replacement and the surrounding buildings are still quite beautiful. The well-manicured gardens and serene ponds add a touch of tranquility to the mix.
Our next stop is Wat Phra Maha Trat – site of one of the most photographed icons in all of Thailand – the Buddha head engulfed in the roots of a banyan tree.
From there it’s a short ride to Wat Phra Sri Sanphet, site of the original Royal Palace until the Burmese trashed the place.
Some areas are cordoned off in Wat Phra Sri Sanphet due to structural instability caused by the recent floods in Thailand.
The whitened bricks below show the water damage from the flooding in Ayutthaya.
After the palace there was time for folks who wanted to engage in some elephant antics. Although I have some mixed feelings about elephant camps in Thailand (think chains, beatings, torture) the elephants at the Royal Elephant Kraal and Village in Ayutthaya seem to be well-treated, at least according to reviews I found online.
Did you know that some of the elephants from the Royal Elephant Kraal were called in to help find survivors of the devastating tsunami of 2006? Neither did I. But our guide First did.
From the elephant camp we are transported to the boat. I was expecting a small affair with just the folks from our group, but the boat was massive — and luxurious. We spend the next two hours leisurely navigating the Chao Phraya River on our way to Bangkok.
But not before we get our grub. I’m usually not a fan of buffets (it’s one step away from soup kitchen if you ask me), but this one was huge, tasty, and dessert-heavy.
After about 2 hours we start to make our way into Bangkok, and get pretty stellar views of both Wat Arun and the Grand Palace.
So what’s the verdict? Even though I had seen most of Ayutthaya previously, First’s commentary added plenty of info I had no idea about. And his humorous nature pepped up what could have been a very mediocre tour.
I’ll leave you with what one last anecdote from First on expectations.
“Give more. Expect less. Give without expectations.This is the Buddhist way. Much like the way I give my love to one girl. I expect nothing in return. And actually, I get nothing in return. I think you may know that girl. Her name? Shania Twain. She don’t even know I love her.
You see, this is the Buddhist way. We expect nothing in return.”
I wish more tour guides were as good as First.
Note: While this tour was provided compliments of GetYourGuide.com, the views are strictly my own.
Canada 
America 
Oman 
That’s hilarious! Sounds like a great tour! Excellent photos.
Thanks Ellen! First certainly made the tour worthwhile.
First is funny and charming indeed. I’d definitely sign up for his tour. Besides, I’ve never seen any of these sights.
Ayutthaya is certainly a must-see if you get to Thailand.
LOL LOL LOL I hate tours but I love First. Haven’t yet got to Auytthaya in my Thailand visits – love the pics and will have to make it a priority next time.
I’m usually not a fan of tours either — I like to explore on my own. But sometimes the info you get from the tour guide, especially local ones like First, just make it all the worthwhile.
I agree a guide can add a lot to a travel experience – I’ve got a guide in Nepal not because I needed showing the way but as a way to get to talk to a local person and understand more of the culture. When I was in Nepal my sherpa’s name was Lhakpa, which means Tuesday in Nepali – same idea as your First. I guess when you have loads of kids you don’t feel inspired to think of original names
Thanks so much for reminding me of our tour up the river to Auyathhaya. It was a wonderful outing. But we didn’t have a guide that I recall. Had it been First, I’m sure I would recall.
He’s a pretty memorable character that’s for sure.
I’m going to Bangkok later this year and this post got me all excited! Love the tradition of naming children First, Second, Third and so on in some countries in Asia. Great post!
Thanks! You’re gonna LOVE Thailand!!
Regardless, I think I still want to try a grasshopper! What a cool tour!
I actually passed on the grasshopper, but the other food was still really good.
OMG Raymond – please tell me you didn’t get on that bus in the elephant photo. Dear “First” may well be entertaining, but sorry – that bus looks like a TBFH (Tour-Bus-From-Hell) ;(
It was actually quite comfortable! And sometimes it’s nice to have someone show you the sights instead of schlepping yourself around.
Sounds like a worthwhile tour Raymond, I know from experience that a good tour guide can make or break these kinds of tour.
You hit the nail on the head my friend.
Great stories and photos. Can’t wait to go to Thailand.
Don’t wait — go now!!!
looks like a nice trip Raymond… your tour guide sure is funny
He had some great stories for sure.
Sounds like a cool tour. I just took a day trip from Bangkok to Ayutthaya. Had to stand on the train because they didn’t have reserved seats for the short trip.
Yikes! Although only an hour or so standing is not too bad I guess…
OMG Hilarious! I want to go on a tour with this guy!! Love your pics too
Thanks for commenting! And be sure to give the fella a tip too! There were a lot of cheapskates on the tour…
Oh man, First has made me laugh! Sp about Shania Twain. So funny, she’s one of my favorite artists and actually learned much of my English thanks to her songs. Haha, what a fun story this was to read
I can’t wait to hot Thailand! Might try and book a tour with First haha
Thailand is an amazing country with amazingly friendly people — you will love it!
I think elephants are the coolest animals. Whoever cut those hedges to look like them has some serious skillz.
Who doesn’t love Shania lol
I don’t think tours are completely bad since I don’t always find it fun and easy to explore things on my own. Sometimes a tour is a breath of fresh air. Especially in places where lone travel is difficult. Looks like they fed you well, too – that’s always a pleasant bonus.
So beautiful!
Fantastic! Ayutthaya was actually the first place I EVER went to (outside my own country, as red-shirt protests were happening in Bangkok at the time – I caught the first train outta there.) Your photos are beaut. Nothing beats a Thai guide with attitude!
Sounds like a cool tour! I did a GetYourGuide tour in Berlin but it was a bit more somber…