I’ve Got Resort Mouth

Posted by - October 11, 2012 | Category: Canteen

Hotel Marina El Cid Spa & Beach Resort, Mayan Riviera, Mexicobacon-wrapped shrimp -- Hotel Marina El Cid Spa & Beach Resort in Mexico’s Mayan Riviera

199.1 pounds.

That’s what the scale in my room at the Hotel Marina El Cid Spa & Beach Resort in Mexico’s Mayan Riviera read when I bellied up to it.

And that was before I even ate a morsel.

I’m not telling you what the scale read after my stay, but let’s just say I’m grateful they splurged on a sturdy model — I developed an acute case of Resort Mouth while I was there.

Dinner buffet at Alhambra -- Hotel Marina El Cid Spa & Beach Resort in Mexico’s Mayan Riviera

So what exactly is Resort Mouth?

Synonymous with Gob Stuffing, Kisser Cramming, Muzzle Gorge, Beak Binge and the rather clinical-sounding All-inclusivitis (I think that may even be Latin), Resort Mouth is that propensity to eat (and of course drink) everything that’s laid out before you.

Buffet Dinner at Alhambra restaurant -- Hotel Marina El Cid Spa & Beach Resort in Mexico’s Mayan Riviera

Ellen Degeneres used to do a stand-up bit about eating popcorn at the movies – buying a supersized bucket, shoving fistfuls of it down your gob, but then scrambling to find the smallest spec of popcorn that slips from your fingers onto your lap. It’s Gluttony 101.

Dessert table, Alhambra restaurant  -- Hotel Marina El Cid Spa & Beach Resort in Mexico’s Mayan Riviera

Resort Mouth is like that, albeit much grander on the overindulgence scale. And here, you’re not limited to popcorn, the buckets are endless, and the fistfuls keep coming as long as you keep shoving. It’s heaven even for a non-foodie like me. Or hell if you’re on a diet.

Chocolate cheesecake dessert, Hotel Marina El Cid Spa & Beach Resort in Mexico’s Mayan Riviera

But who here is on a diet? This is a resort. A place where people come to relax. Unwind. And if you have to undo a belt here, or unbutton a trouser there, well then you’ve paid for that right.Hotel Marina El Cid Spa & Beach Resort in Mexico’s Mayan Riviera

Lobby Bar  -- Hotel Marina El Cid Spa & Beach Resort in Mexico’s Mayan Riviera

There is a stellar gym if you’re so inclined, and of course plenty of spa possibilities to soothe your guilty inner glutton, but let’s be realistic – you’re on vacation. Food is not a four-letter word here.

Hacienda Arrecife restaurant -- Hotel Marina El Cid Spa & Beach Resort in Mexico’s Mayan Riviera

Alhambra buffet -- Hotel Marina El Cid Spa & Beach Resort in Mexico’s Mayan Riviera

El Alcazar restaurant -- Hotel Marina El Cid Spa & Beach Resort in Mexico’s Mayan Riviera

El Alcazar Restaurant

On a number of occasions I’ve mocked all-inclusives by saying, “Nothing says adventure like a neon wristband.” I may have to rethink my position on that one. At a resort like El Cid, the adventure you see, is in your mouth.

And that’s an experience everyone should have.

Disclosure: I was a guest of the Hotel Marina El Cid Spa & Beach Resort but they did not ask that I write a favourable review or gain untold pounds during my stay.

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41 comments - add one
  1. I have had a few scales in resorts too but I never go on them because I don’t want to know the horrible truth. Besides who could pass up that food, especially the bacon wrapped shrimp.

  2. We’re in Miami right now for a little anniversary vacation, and no food is safe. Blue cheese mac and cheese just about killed me with happiness.

  3. I am a huge fan of Mexican food. It’s a good thing resorts like this have gyms because otherwise I don’t think my doctor would recommend me to go!

  4. Oh, I’ve so been there… It’s the cheesecake that kills me every time. And the nachos. Oh – and the soft serve ice cream. But then there’s that amazing guy who makes your pasta from scratch. Well, you get the idea. Just happy that there’s never been a scale in my hotel room.

  5. Is that what they’re calling it these days lol. Personally, I just ballooned by taking the old adage “feed a cold, starve a fever” to heart. (You can guess which one I was stuck at home with.) Now I must fast…

  6. So glad it is dinnertime now because my stomach is rumbling! Love the term “resort mouth” too. Brilliant.

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