The World’s Largest McDonald’s, Orlando, Florida
Okay yes, I went to McDonald’s, so shoot me. No, seriously — someone please shoot me. I think there’s a gun shop around the corner. I mean, this is America.
I had heard that the World’s Largest McDonald’s restaurant was in Orlando, and since my hotel (the lovely Las Palmeras by Hilton (formerly the Westin Imagine Orlando) was just down the road, I popped by to get my grease on. Plus they had pizza.
Even though the bulk of McDonald’s restaurants on the planet stopped serving McPizza back in the mid-90s, this location on Sand Lake Road in Orlando has a Gourmet Menu with all sorts of delights you won’t find at a lesser McDonald’s.
Eggs Benedict Panini anyone?
Did you notice the Cup of Dirt under the For Kids Only section? Damn kids get all the good stuff.
The World’s Largest Entertainment McDonald’s & PlayPlace
This location also bills itself as The World’s Largest Entertainment & PlayPlace McDonald’s which, for the purposes of anyone who’s thinking of having kids, is the ideal place to drop by to see what you’re getting yourself into.
Here’s a test for you — what do you notice about the photo below?
If you said “the cute little girl playing Deal or No Deal,” then congratulations are in order — it’s time to ditch the birth control. I wish you only the best with your TV/video game-addicted spawn.
If like me you said, “The Exit” then let’s head out that door arm-in-arm! Hopefully it leads to a vasectomy/tube-tying facility. I think I may even have a coupon.
Okay maybe it’s not that bad. It’s a little dated, a little crowded (with both people and junk), and there’s just not a lot to do for a big galoot like me. Other than scarf down my meal and wish I was somewhere else. Like Legoland. Or the Holy Land. Or some far off distant McDonald’s-free land.
The entire second floor is devoted to games for kids – over 100 midway-type arcade games in all. But even with all those flashing lights, it’s creepily dark up there. I’m not saying that there are carnies hiding in the shadows (although that is a distinct possibility) but I certainly hope there are flashlights in those Happy Meals.
The place could certainly use a bit of a refresh. It looks like most of the games have seen better days. Much like this helmeted Ronald McDonald with a missing hand.
Which led me to think what poor Ronnie had done to deserve such punishment.
“As to the thief, male or female, cut off his or her hands: a punishment by way of example, from Allah, for their crime…” – Quran 5:38
And what’s this? The Statue of Liberty swathed in an American flag, a half-lit marquee, AND a Christmas light-lined cage filled with stuffed animals? Ba da ba ba bah – I’m Lovin’ It!
Yes, those are hands coming out of the wall. I guess that does make it unique.
I thought that these might be American President bobbleheads hovering over the stairs, but after seeing number 2 (who looks nothing like Obama), I was puzzled.
So I asked around on Facebook. Best answer goes to Coastal Confessions Travel Blog who responded with Sam Kinison, Bill Cosby, Ron White, Steve Jobs, and Dave Grohl. Although I think number 4 could be David Letterman. And number 5 could be a tribute to the Amish as a whole.
And this must be the section where they dole out the punishment.
And what aging McDonald’s would be complete without a bowlegged Mac Tonight?
And a cross-legged Ronald.
I had thought about coming back and spray-painting the word “Flee” in place of the word “See”, but since they’re open 24 hours, I thought the odds of getting busted were pretty high.
Plus if I had to suffer through it, so should others. I’m a big fan of bearing witness.
So I know what you’re thinking – what about the “For Now” bit in the title of this post? Well it seems this McDonald’s will only be able to hold onto the reign for another few months. According to the UK’s Daily Mail, A massive 1500-seat McDonald’s is set to open in London near the site of the London 2012 Olympics, making it the World’s Biggest McDonald’s by a pretty large margin.
I wonder if they’ll serve edible medals?
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My trip to Orlando was provided by Aeroplan as part of the Aeroplan Welcome Aboard Event.