Hmmm…back alley, brick wall, chalk sign that reads “Museum of Minis, Dolls, and Toys?”
This has got to be good.
It’s either a creepy old dude who has yet to discover the predatory possibilities of the internet, or a creepy old lady smelling vaguely (or explicitly) of cat pee. Either way, there’s blogging gold just beyond that arrow.
Still reeling that my original must-see attraction in Denver – The CELL (Counterterrorism Education Learning Lab) – was “closed for renovations” (I still that that’s code for something else) Ben from Adventures with Ben fame and I decided to see where the sidewalk chalk led us.
Turns out the place is as legit as they come. It’s the Denver Museum of Miniatures, Dolls, and Toys. There are no old ladies, the only cats are miniatures in frilly lace frocks, and the only old dude is, well…me. (So perhaps it is a little creepy after all.)
Still, there’s lots to absorb if you’re into miniature scenes of olden times.
And after not having a clue who Juliette Gordon Low was (my mind kept thinking Joseph Gordon-Levitt), Google assured me she was the founder of Girl Scouts of the USA. Why she was piled in with the tribute to the Girl Scouts made a heckuva lot more sense after that.
(I didn’t know Lisa Loeb was a Girl Guide.)
And what self-respecting, non-creepy American doll museum would be complete without a tribute to the fashion of the nation’s fiercest First Ladies?
Such as Eleanor Roosevelt rockin’ the short wispy curl…
…or Jackie Kennedy pre-pillbox hat.
The second floor has an entire section for more recent toys and dolls, like Raggedy Ann and Andy (get a load of the book Ann has…).
So the boys don’t feel left out, there’s even a small section for them too…
The Denver Museum of Miniatures, Dolls and Toys is also home to Big Ben – the largest articulated teddy bear in the United States. And that doesn’t mean he can formulate an argument. (That’s okay, I had to Google it too.)
Okay so maybe there is a little creepiness going on here. Like Child of Chucky here…
Or Bondage Bear here.
And Voodoo Momma. (Is that human hair?)
The International dolls section had some charmingly creepy ones as well. Like this one (feel free to add your own caption).
Alongside him were Spain’s “Woman in Black”…
… this bug-eyed creature…
…and the Travelocity gnome in less prosperous times.
Remember those frilly lace-frocked cats I mentioned earlier? I wasn’t kidding.
One thing I could have done without though, were the clowns. I’ve had an aversion to them since Poltergeist. Especially the Hobo/Tramp variety like these…
Clowns like these should come with a warning. In chalk.
The Denver Museum of Miniatures, Dolls, and Toys
Hours of Operation: Wed to Sat 10 AM to 4 PM, Sun 1 to 4 PM
Admission prices: Adults: $6, Seniors: $5, Children ages 5 to 16: $4, Under 5: free
Bondage Bear is fierce!
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I think there was a cat o’ nine tails somewhere in his display case too…
What a great post. Love the series of images! That teddy bear is probably dangerous.)
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There was a Mrs. Big Ben too! She looked just like him in drag.
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Ummm…. A few questions come to mind after seeing this:
1. Why do the cats have HUMAN hands?!
2. Why does the Boy Scout on the front of that book look suspiciously like Prince Harry on his way to infamy in his Las Vegas hotel suite?!
And most importantly:
3. Why would the Girl Guides try to sell cookies to a woman who already LIVES in a giant Girl Guide cookie box?! Clearly it’s a trap!! Run Girl Guides, run!! Don’t let that creepy lady touch your cookies….
Fascinating tour – you find the most messed-up places to visit, my friend!!
Lisa
xo
Oooohhhh…such good questions! Lemme take a stab…
1) Because dog hands would have made no sense.
2) Because no kid would join if it was Prince Charles on the cover.
3) Have you ever heard the term, “He can sell ice to an Eskimo?” That’s what Girl Guides are like. They have this cutesy facade, but really, they’re one step shy of a Ponzi scheme.
Bondage bear is clearly a tribute to Silence of the Lambs. See if it has a pen hidden in its stomach…
You are very brave. I wouldn’t be able to sleep for weeks after this. I HATE dolls. And the “largest articulated bear” is clearly a creepy guy in a suit.
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There were some fava beans and a nice Chianti in Teddy’s cell. Shoulda tipped me off.
Kids’ toys back in the day were SO creepy, why do all the doll faces look like they are going to kill you at night? What is up with Bondage Bear?
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I’m surprised any of us made it out of childhood alive.
Someone already took my “Silence of the Lambs” comment… Anyway, some of these little homegrown, out in the shed, hodge podgy museums make for the best stops. Cheers!
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Oh if you like ” little homegrown, out in the shed, hodge podgy museums” then you’ll LOVE this…
http://manonthelam.com/44-dioramas-of-dead-gophers-gopher-hole-museum-torrington-alberta/
wow, that “sign” is sketch hahaha
and the museum is a little creepy, yet interesting. I wonder how the vibe is like? I think my body would feel confused and not know how do you feel 
- Maria Alexandra
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It just felt really quiet in there — like a library, just without the people and the organization.
I agree with Ayngelina, I wonder why they designed the toys like that a while ago…
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So they could terrify us.
I love the dollhouse stuff. Its so tiny and perfect and I know all about Juliette Low from my days as a girl scout leader but the rest is just sort of creepy.I really hate clowns especially.
Yeah they should have has some “Clowns Ahead” warning at the front door. At least they were tucked away in the back though. Oh wait, maybe that’s worse…
My nightmare is returning from these devil dolls!
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“They all float down here Billy.”
Where the hell do you FIND these things?!
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This one was purely accidental — Ben and I were pulled into a restaurant parking lot, and voila…dolls and clowns ensued.
You know I’m obsessed with your creepy sense of humor — and knack for finding places like this lol.
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My first cyber-stalker! Awesome!!
I think I come down on the side of creepy with this one, although that teddy bear is cute!
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The bondage bear or the giant one? They do have their cute qualities…
Thanks for the great write up! I can let you know that Voodoo Momma is from Egypt and her hair is human. Good thing we didn’t show you the doll w/ real human baby teeth…
I’ll look into some “Clown Dolls Inside” but they do a good job of guarding our miniature circus
Oh you know I’m going to have to come back for the VIP tour one day — I can’t believe I missed that!
Glad you liked the write-up. Now, about those clowns…
I have a love of all things tiny, but I too am scared of clowns. Must be the Poltergeist thing…
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I’m with you on that one. I still have flashbacks to that movie…
Seriously. How do you find this crazy stuff!?! LOVE it!
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I’m fond of saying that this crazy stuff finds me.
What a quirky museum. I’d like to amble about all those weird gnomes and dolls with scary eyes. A little disappointed there wasn’t a creepy cat lady, though.
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There was a creepy granny in a rocking chair, but alas, she was catless.
I wonder if these guys know about the Gopher museum. I kept expecting one to pop up
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That would have been the icing on the scary clown cake.
OK, I find this attraction only marginally creepy…
Hi! First I would like to say thank you for the awesome post, I haven’t been to a doll and toy museum so this one helped tons. And the wall sign is just too funny. By the way, I have added you on my fave links.
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Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed it!
The bondage bear reminds me of Hannibal Lecter…but I think that the kitten-girl doll is the creepiest. It’s right out of a horror movie.
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Yeah they went all out with that one.
those dolls looks really creepy..I really don’t know but i do have irrational fear of dolls
Lovely collections!
I love that Juliette Gordon Low doll but I wonder how small or big is that…
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Museums of toys? Never heard this. I think that would be amazing especially for kids and its something different to see.
Nice pics, but don’t you get bore to answer everyone…. lol ?
I don’t mind it at all actually.
I’m totally having nightmares after reading about this place.
Perhaps a lullaby would help. Then again, probably not…
What a neat place to stumble upon. I agree if I saw that caulk-scribbled brick wall I would have felt a little iffy about whether I should go in, but I am so glad you did. I cannot believe some of the details on those miniatures! I will admit, though, I am sure I would have been plenty creeped out by most of those dolls. I am not sure what it is, but dolls just give me the creeps!
I’m with you — dolls and clowns.