There are some fine lists out there on what you should pack in your toiletry bag when you travel. This is not one of those lists. These are simply some overlooked, perhaps questionable, items that you will find in my toiletry travel kit.
Mouthwash. I can see your eyes rolling. Oh yes I can. But please stay with me, and I shall explain. For years, I had what I like to call Far Side teeth. If you’ve seen the comic strip, you’ll catch my drift. More fangs than a Twilight werewolf. More crowding than a Black Friday Wal-Mart. So to remedy that situation, I finally broke down and got Invisalign. “Nine months,” said the orthodontist, “and you’ll have teeth like an Osmond.”
Well it took a little longer than that. Fifteen months longer to be exact. But it was well worth it. They are pearly, they are white, and they are rock and roll. (And a little bit country!) The downside is, they like to travel as much as I do. Staying in one place is not their natural state, so I have to wear a retainer at night to keep them at bay. I know. Retainer. That’s hot.
Now I’m not sure how many of you have ever worn a retainer, or maybe woken up with someone wearing a retainer, but it stinks. Literally. I call it “vadge mouth.” It’s like durian in a dumpster. So the mouthwash goes wherever I go. I’m willing to sacrifice the space in my toiletry bag for the greater good of those around me. Yes, I will do that for you. You’re welcome.
Sleeping Pills. If you’re a light sleeper like me, these are a must when you travel. I usually rely on ear plugs to aid in a good night’s sleep, but sometimes you need to kick it up a notch. I can usually spot the tell-tale signs that I’m going to need some Zoplicone to catch some Z’s. Party hostel? Pop a pill. Long flight? Pop a pill. Light pollution? Well, maybe a sleep mask will work in that case.
Compact. Yes I’m a dude with a compact. I tell people it’s a “travel mirror” but I got it in the makeup section of a dollar store. I use it while shaving in the shower, and to make sure I didn’t miss anything after I clipper my head. And maybe some other places too. It’s rectangular shaped so it rests nicely against a wall or on a shelf in the shower. Did I mention it was a dollar?
Liquid Bandage. I used to think that this was the medical equivalent of squeeze cheese, but after actually trying it, I was sold. It works great in bendy places. It doesn’t get grubby like regular bandages and it doesn’t fall off. And it’s one-size-fits-all. Not to be confused with liquid courage.
Ziploc Bags. If it can leak, it will. If it can get wet, it will. Let it be written. For this much I know to be true. Save yourself the heartache and use these to organize your travel kit.
So what’s in your toiletry bag? I’m always looking for great travel tips. And sharing is good karma. Really good karma.